Chinese Moms vs. Western Moms

Today I read an article about the difference between Chinese mothers and Western mothers. Written by Amy Chua and shared on CNN by Wendy Sachs, this op-ed piece draws a pretty harsh comparison between the two types of mothers. Frankly, I was appalled by some of the points she made. 

Sachs painted Western mothers, particularly working mothers, as lazy and lacking the time and discipline necessary to turn out successful children. Chinese mothers, on the other hand are "down in the trenches" every day working hard to churn out flawless children. I feel this passage sums up the piece rather well....

"The Western touchy-feely approach runs counter to the Chinese Mom philosophy. Chua (a second generation Chinese American, mother of two and Yale Law School professor) claims that heaping shame and ridicule on her children drives them to success. In her world, insults motivate. Praise only comes with perfection. Weak discipline creates failure.
"You are garbage!" Chua once screamed at her daughter Sophia.
For Chinese moms, a less-than-perfect child is a disgrace to the family, a slap-in-the-face to the parents -- utter shame. After all, Chinese moms are in the trenches, toiling for hours to ensure excellence -- anything short becomes almost pathologically personal."

Are you kidding me? I would never call my child garbage! I don't believe there will ever be a time in her life that she could do something so bad to warrant me calling her garbage.

I won't argue that Chinese mothers turn out some of the most talented and intelligent children I've ever met. However, us Western mothers have a pretty good thing going too. Sachs does concede that point breifly at the end of her piece. Our children understand how to handle themselves in a variety of social situations, are incredibly well rounded and are individually successful in what truly interests them. But most of all they seem happy. They find happiness in even the smallest things and to me, that is more important than getting an A on the next spelling test.

Sachs notes that Western mothers are envious of the Chinese mother's methods. I don't believe that is the case. Am I impressed? Sure! They're giving of themselves in such a selfless way and any mother who does that is impressive. I don't, however, envy her methods at accomplishing her task. I'm a firm believer in positive reinforcement. No one yelling at me has ever motivated me to do better. It just makes me angry. I imagine my daughter will be quite the same way.

I know I am a new mother who is still figuring out her parenting style and there will be times when Addilyn will test my limits. But I will always give her positive reinforcement, encourage anything positive that interests her and make sure that she is well rounded. I will be the antithesis to the Chinese mother.